In my recent newsletter, I shared that I signed a publishing contract and that it was exciting as well as scary. The roller coaster of emotions has been crazy. One minute, one hour, or one day, excitement overwhelms me as I think, “Oh! I hope I help many with my story, my journey and, especially, my vulnerability.”
The next minute, hour, or day, I am scared to death, wondering, “What am I doing? What have I signed up for? How big can this get? Am I strong enough, brave enough? Am I capable of staying on this new wild ride of life? Will this roller coaster scare me so much it shuts me down?”
I barely finished typing this second paragraph when I realized many thoughts and emotions were just bubbling up to the surface. As if someone was tapping me on the shoulder, saying, “Hey, I’m here again let’s talk”. I paused and just listened to what my vulnerability was trying to say to me.
With my story being exposed am I setting myself up to be wounded again? Will people make comments that will feel like a kick in the stomach, testing me mentally and emotionally? Will this be the test of tests? If I am wounded, will I bounce back as quickly as I expect? I took a deep breath and decided I can’t give up now.
Since I believe what we think about we bring about, knowing all too well our thoughts create, attract, and manifest, should I be brought down I will consciously think about all the good possibilities of this book, all the people who could be nudged to a new awareness and moved to empowerment.
This six-year project that started with a 200,000-word, handwritten first draft is now down to the last 6 months. My heart is racing, sometimes frozen with fear, but I promise you, I will trust as I have all along that the courage and help I need will show up at the perfect moment. I am clear this has been a divinely guided journey and believe somehow, some way, I will survive while I tread through the foreign waters of self-publishing.
So please be with me. Keep me in your prayers. Perhaps send a message or two of encouragement. Remember that all along, the real mission here is not me surviving this roller coaster ride, but helping change the ride so many are on.
Victims of domestic violence don’t trust their own instincts any more. The manipulation or brainwashing goes so deep, they really are at the will of their abusers. Help me help them unmask the secrecy, give them hope, nudge them to a new awareness by sharing my website. Remember one statistic − 1 out of 3 people suffers abuse, and that stat reflects only those who talk about it. I was one of those who did not. I hid in shame and carried around someone else’s guilt.
I’ve learned to take back my power, my voice, but I and others not as strong need your help to alert the world. Together, we can move many to empowerment.
Post by Casey Morley – I have emerged from a life filled with abuse and chronicle my journey in my my book,Crawling Out, due to be published soon. I hope by sharing my story I can help other victims of domestic violence realize that they too, can start their own journey of crawling out – and that they don’t have to walk alone. I am also the owner of Casey’s Image Consultants, and a Certified M’lis Wellness Consultant offering Lifestyle Change Programs for detoxifying the body. I am dedicated to helping people improve their appearance and overall health from the inside out.