Feb 15 2014

“In Her Shoes”

Would YOU walk a mile in her shoes?

A few weeks back I attended a domestic violence training sponsored by the CCADV (Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence). One of the speakers at this training was Captain Gary MacNamara Chief of Police for the Town of Fairfield, CT.

I had the pleasure of speaking with him after the training for a few minutes. He sent me a link to the Center for Women and Families website for information on how to be part of the White Ribbon campaign. That’s where I got side tracked by this amazing poem. It  tells exactly what we survivors have endured. Please take a few minutes and read it. I hope it answers the question so many ask …..  “why didn’t she just leave?”    

“In Her Shoes”

A Poem by a Survivor of Abuse

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Her eye is black,
Her nose bleeds red,
Yet she still has to sleep with him,
In the same bed.

He says he’s sorry,
One more time,
She numbs her pain,
With a glass of wine.

Her children fight,
And swear, and yell,
Her life becomes a living hell.

She knows the reason
This is so,
It’s all they know.

If you had the option to choose,
Would you walk a mile in her shoes?

Whatever goes wrong,
She gets the blame,
It’s all a part of his
controlling game.

He tells her she’s old,
And stupid, and fat,
As he threatens her with a baseball bat.

The police arrive,
Once again…
This is visit number ten.

He tells them yet another lie,
Will she ever get out,
Or will she die?

If you had the option to choose,
Would you walk a mile in her shoes?

He says the Law’s,
Not on her side,
And if she leaves,
He won’t provide.

He monitors,
Her every move,
Her whereabouts,
She has to prove.

With any man,
That she may meet,
He accuses her,
Of being a cheat.

She can’t go out,
He takes her phone,
She lives in fear,
Of the unknown.

If you had the option to choose,
Would you walk a mile in her shoes?

In a fetal position,
On her bed,
She wonders if,
She’s better off dead.

She feels so alone,
She feels trapped,
All of her energy and resources,
have been tapped.

The things he says,
Don’t hold much merit,
But they’re enough,
To break her spirit.

She works so hard,
To try to hide,
The stress and hurt,
She feels inside.

If you had the option to choose,
Would you walk a mile in her shoes?

What is the reason
That makes her stay?
The children, money…
She sees no way?

It’s all too much,
To untwist,
The things that have happened,
Too many to list.

Physical, verbal,
Emotional trauma,
A life filled with,
Too much drama.

The things she”s been through,
Make it hard to cope,
She feels like,
There is no hope.

If you had the option to choose,
Would you walk a mile in her shoes?

She loses perspective,
So easily,
To the things he says,
She’ll comply and agree.

He says the children,
He’s going to keep,
If she ever leaves,
This makes her weep.

She’s convinced,
There’s nowhere to turn,
Of all she can learn.

She can begin to heal,
And regain her sanity,
With the help of,
The Center for Women and Families.

So TODAY, you have the option to choose,
Do you have the strength to walk a mile in her shoes?


This coming May Walk a Mile In Her Shoes – Fairfield, White Ribbon Committee Chair, Fairfield Police Chief Gary McNamera will be leading an initiative to help promote awareness about Sexual Violence. We need your help to spread the word to all males that want to be a part of the solution, either by being on our committee or participating in our event.


In Her Shoesphoto courtesy of Roanokecollege

Post by: Casey Morley – “I have emerged from a life filled with abuse and chronicle my journey in my mybook,Crawling Out,due to be published soon. I hope by sharing my story I can help other victims of domestic violence realize that they too, can start their own journey of crawling out – and that they don’t have to walk alone. I am also the owner of Casey’s Image Consultants, and a Certified M’lis Wellness Consultant offering Lifestyle Change Programs for detoxifying the body. I am dedicated to helping people improve their appearance and overall health from the inside out.”


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