In a previous post, Where Does It All Start? I shared a little bit about a homework assignment that started me on my road to recovery. The assignment: ponder the question, What do I really want? Today, I share what I wrote on the very first line of that legal pad. I wrote, “I want to be me again.” It wasn’t long before more questions started popping into my head… “What does that even mean? Who am I, anyway? Where did I go? When did I stop being me? Was I ever me?”
I didn’t know the answers to any of those questions. What I did know with certainty was that I was more than a frightened, broken, confused little girl scrambling through life trying to survive. As I struggled with my new questions, I received homework assignment #2. I had to ask friends and family, “What do you like about me?” Apprehensive and vulnerable, I began asking a few of my clients the question. As my apprehension started to slip away, I was brave enough to ask even more people and, as with the first assignment, I started to have fun with it.
This exercise turned out to be monumental for me and my moving forward in my search for me. The assignment wasn’t so scary after all. I ended up asking 35 to 40 people and started to learn how others saw me. I heard words like “strong,” “honest,” “resilient,” “courageous,” “diligent,” “optimistic,” “very grounded,” and “funny.” The most popular comments were “bubbly personality,” “sensitive and caring” and “a dedicated, wonderful mother.” The comment that touched me the most was “inner beauty.” I wondered, how could anyone see inner beauty in someone so broken?
All of these comments were a surprise to me. Why didn’t I see any of this? So the assignment that frightened me so turned out to be the very thing I needed to assist me in understanding who I was and learning how to show up. It helped me to begin to move off the broken-person survival path and to peek down the path of thriving and being me again. The more I showed up, the more I began to love exactly who I am.
Doreen Virtue, one of my favorite authors, taught me: “When you love yourself for who you are, you praise the creator’s hard work.”
Do you know who you are? Is it your time to praise your creator’s hard work?
Photo courtesy of uzvards